Show Notes
This week on “Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice,” Patricia and Nicole reflect on their holiday experiences and their plans for the new year, including decluttering and setting realistic, hopefully achievable goals. They discuss their Patreon plans, the importance of building community, and share personal anecdotes about their accountability processes and upcoming activities like crochet classes.
Mentioned on the show (includes affiliate links):
- Bookshop Affiliate Storefront (links below are affiliate)
- Gift our Patreon! patreon.com/eedapod/gift
- Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World Without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams
- EEDA Pod: Wrapping Up the Year: Marshmallows, Musicals, and Memories
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
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Sound editing by Jen Zink
Transcript
EP 031
Music: [Intro Music]
Patricia: Hey there, humanoids! Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice, the podcast for folks who would rather curl into the fetal position than lean in. I’m your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole: And as far as I know, I am not an AI bot. I’m Nicole Elzie-Tuttle. We’re recording this show on January 1st, 2025.
Patricia: We had like a little break, kind of. We did a short show, the last show.
Nicole: We did do a short show, that’s right.
Patricia: But this is the first show of the year, and since our last show, we had hosted a few friends for Christmas Day.
Nicole: We did. I heated up a ham.
Patricia: Yeah, we got a ham from Costco, heated up a ham.
Nicole: I would, didn’t want to say baked because it was like already cooked.
I just had to make it hot.
Patricia: Yeah, that’s fair. But it was what I am calling our first annual Misfit Toys Christmas.
Nicole: Yeah, I think that’s good.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: It was nice. We had people over. We had a lot. I mean, there’s so much food. Which was great.
Patricia: Always.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: The next day on December 26th, I volunteered at a Kwanzaa celebration. Which after hosting the day before, I was just like, the next day I was like, oh, why did I volunteer for this thing?
But then it was lovely. It was so wonderful. It was the first time I did it and I’ll probably do it again.
Nicole: I feel like that’s kind of your reaction before and after to like, going out to a lot of things that involve people.
Patricia: Literally anything. I’m like, ugh, I don’t want to go. And then I’m like, Oh, this was nice.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: There was also, of course, end of year scramble that I do to kind of do those things that I don’t want to carry into the new year. Like, if you are a subscriber to our Patreon, a paid subscriber, you would know that for the accountability post, I’ve been trying to get our passports renewed. And so we finally took pictures, and I sent off the renewal.
Nicole: We figured out the picture printer, which the passport photo setting on it does not print out photos in the right size for passport photos.
Patricia: Yeah, ugh.
But we figured it out. We worked it out.
Nicole: We did.
Patricia: I also, I needed something fixed, and it involved calling our credit union, which was literally on my to do list since February.
Nicole: Oooh.
Patricia: I know. But you know what? I did it. I did it after being on hold, it took three minutes. I have learned nothing. But I didn’t want it following me into 2025.
Nicole: I was working that day, thankfully, from home, and I remember you telling me, like, I’m gonna go make this phone call. I’m gonna finally call the credit union.
And then, like, I looked up and you were done. And I was like, did it, did it get fixed? You’re like, yeah, no problem. Okay.
Patricia: Literally 10 months on my to do list.
Nicole: We have a Patreon that we would like to remind you all about, and I guess we didn’t do this last episode, so I’m awkward on telling you about it this time.
We have a Patreon. It’s patreon.com/eedapod and you can go there and subscribe. And if you are still looking for a gift for someone because you were totally late and didn’t get them an end of year gift. So now you want to get them a Welcome to 2025 gift. You can gift a Patreon subscription by going to patreon.com/eedapod/gift.
Patricia: And just to toot our own horns. We are also doing a, you know, we do our weekly accountability check in and support and just like a general check in about like that thing that you want to get done that week, but we’re also doing kind of like a bigger one for your 2025 goals or resolutions, which we’ll talk about a little bit later in this show. But if you know someone who wants some support with that, you can gift them an EEDAPOD Patreon subscription.
You can also always support our show by shopping in our bookshop. The link is on our website, eedapod.com. And there is also a whole shelf for books we have mentioned on this show, as well as the best books we read last year.
Music: [Transitional music]
Patricia: So, today we are going to talk about goals and intentions and whatnot. But because we are who we are, we need to say some things up front. First of all, this New Years is really complicated. Many folks in our communities aren’t thinking about 2025 goals because we are too busy bracing ourselves for the upcoming terror.
Nicole: I am one of those. I am braced, my seat is in the upright position, my tray table is put away, and I’m trying not to hold my breath. Also, I know for me, my goals are also kind of an expression of hope. I know things are probably going to get really bad. Not just this year, but In the coming years, but I’m also hopeful that I can continue to improve my health and make art and build community. And my goals this year are a reflection of that.
Patricia: Yeah.
Also, there’s all this pressure of the new year. Like remember that time is arbitrary and new year is a made up thing as all holidays are made up things. And as we mentioned in one of our first episodes, it’s all made up. You can start things at any time.
Nicole: Also, there’s multiple New Years. Just as a shout out to that.
Patricia: There’s multiple New Years.
Yeah, you know, and there’s so many excuses you can come up with for new beginnings. There’s equinoxes and solstices and every change of the moon and, you know.
Nicole: You could also just decide, like, mm, I’m not starting stuff till, like, the first Monday of the month or something.
Patricia: Right. Totally.
Nicole: It’s totally arbitrary. Just don’t choose a Tuesday.
Patricia: [Chuckle]
Nicole: Also, if you don’t want to set any goals, that is totally legitimate. So often, setting goals can be a response from pressure, from capitalism and the patriarchy, and it’s really important to think about the why behind your intentions for your new year, your resolutions, your goals, whatever it is you’re trying to set forward.
Patricia: It can also help to think about goals and intentions for who you are, and not only the person you want to be. Yes, self improvement, okay,. But also thinking about like, is this who you really are? And is this something that is aligned with your values and, and where you’re going?
Nicole: Yeah, set goals that are realistic for yourself.
But also, maybe you can use your goals to help set out a more intentional path for how you can do things like help in the coming, what we anticipate to be a catastrophe. How can you use this time to set your intentions for community building? How can you use this time to figure out how you fit into fighting back in some way?
We were talking a little bit when we were kind of brainstorming this about like, figuring out maybe what you have to offer, and finding community or groups that align with that, and seeing where your availability fits in, and just where you can give back, and maybe your goals are something along those lines of just figuring that out.
Patricia: Absolutely. And I want to add, I know we’ve talked about it on the show probably a zillion times by now. I’ve talked about it everywhere where I can. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of things that need your attention, things specifically like, ahem, reproductive justice and disability justice and trans rights and just the environment and climate change.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all of the things you could possibly focus on, really recommend the book Microactivism by Omkari L. Williams to help kind of decide what your focus is, and then you can figure out where you can plug in.
Nicole: Yeah, it’s a really good reminder on that book.
Patricia: I, myself, am a goal setter.
I am always painfully optimistic at the start of the year. Do I ever achieve all my goals? No. Do I even remember them all by the end of the year? Also no. But I love making them up and I love giving myself a sense of direction. So even if the year ends in chaos, it doesn’t have to start that way.
Nicole: I also really appreciate the opportunity to set some goals and reorient the direction of where I want to take some things in my life.
Thankfully, this year, we can start that right away. I think we started some today. Since this year doesn’t start on a Tuesday. Totally achievable.
Patricia: I’m gonna wait until you’re not paying attention and I’m gonna have you start something on a Tuesday and watch you
implode.
Nicole: It’s not just me. The fans, the fans won’t be able to handle it now.
We gotta have merch around this or something.
Patricia: This year, we really tried to keep in mind some of the lessons we learned in 2024 that we talked about in our last full episode, when we are setting, you know, our goals, resolution, intentions for 2025. Such as, I learned I am better with accountability that is not Nicole and is not me, and that is an actual person that I am accountable to, or people, like in our Patreon, or an impending deadline.
I’m also better with a class that has an instructor, not just online things like we have subscribed to the Underbelly on and off a million times, which I love her yoga videos. I love her vibe. I love the way she teaches, but no one’s making me make the time to do the videos and I’m not showing up and she doesn’t know if I’m showing up or not.
So, having a class where there is an instructor is great, and I am also better when something is scheduled and something is on the calendar.
Nicole: I wasn’t the best accountabilibuddy.
Patricia: I’m typically not either.
Nicole: As much as I hate it, I am also better when there’s a plan. So I’m gonna really try to lean into that this year, doing less like generalized goals that are kind of these vague ideas of what I wanna achieve by the end.
Like exercise more and instead really try to break some stuff down into achievable steps and pieces and give myself the satisfaction of little, little like, yes, I did its.
Patricia: Yeah, I already have us signed up for a crochet class and by the time everyone is listening to this episode, we will have taken it.
Nicole: What will we be making? We don’t know, but we have yarn.
Patricia: And hooks.
Nicole: And hooks.
We’re gonna be hookers.
Whoa.
Patricia: [Laughing] The look on your face right now.
Nicole: I wasn’t ready.
Patricia: So let’s talk about some of our other, you know, I like to call them team goals because I am, I am who I am. We have some administrative and financial things that we’ve been putting off that we need to get done.
Nicole: We are also way overdue for going through our emergency packs and earthquake kit.
Gotta make sure that that, uh, emergency food and water hasn’t expired.
Patricia: Oh my gosh,
yeah.
Nicole: We also want to put together a really good first aid kit. I feel like we’ve wanted to do this for a couple of years and just hasn’t happened.
Patricia: Haven’t made time for it. We need to put it on the calendar.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: That’s part of those achievable goals.
And I think as part of this, we are hoping to take a first aid course this year.
Patricia: Yeah, that was actually something we mentioned, I think, in our first episode after the recent elections as something we could do to both be useful, to be helpful, um, and also make us feel like we have some sense of control.
And I can’t remember the word, but you get it.
Nicole: I get it. Yeah, it’s, it’s been. Gosh, it’s been over 10 years since I’ve, you know, took my EMT courses, and you always say like, I’m not allowed to get hurt because I’m the one that knows how to, how to do the first aiding. And so lets fix that.
Patricia: Let’s take a class. Yeah.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Uh, we want to buddy read an Octavia E. Butler series.
Nicole: Yeah, we’ve both read the parables. I think you read them last year. I think I might have read them the year before or something, but we want to read more of that. And I would like to really read them at the same time
Patricia: yeah
Nicole: so that we can discuss them together, which means I probably need to start a book like a week ahead of you or something.
Patricia: Possibly.
Nicole: Another thing that has been a constant one in our lists is decluttering. We have had this on our list every year for probably at least the last five years, and we have not been good at it. We’re going to try scheduling this in a different way. We used to put things and just, like, our goal would be, like, empty one box a week. And then we wouldn’t.
So one of the things we’re trying is as we look at each month ahead or something, being really intentional on scheduling in, like, when are we decluttering. Also, hopefully this year we’ll make some movement on that because some of this decluttering does have a deadline.
Patricia: Absolutely.
And we’re going to not only schedule decluttering, but really try to look at the month ahead so suddenly we don’t get caught on a weekend, uh, feeling all frantic about what we’re doing. And suddenly we’ve done too much or we’ve done too many things, too many weekends in the row. Like, scheduling also involves scheduling rest and scheduling downtime.
And we are also going to, at the end of the month, have our monthly goals check in.
Nicole: And importantly, we’re putting it on the calendar as a scheduled event so that we don’t forget to do it.
Patricia: yeah
Nicole: And that will also help guide us as we set the next month.
Patricia: These are all our grand plans right now,
Nicole: yes
Patricia: we’ll see when we check back in in two months.
both: [Laughing]
Nicole: This making sure that we schedule things on the calendar is, is really going to be key.
Another thing we’re hoping to do this year is to be more social. We still want to be COVID safe in how we do things, you know, making sure everybody tests beforehand if we’re going to be indoors. We have our air filters set up. If we’re going elsewhere, we’ve really gotten comfortable with our masking and you know, after hosting our, our Misfit Toys holiday special,
Patricia: [Chuckling]
Nicole: we want to try hosting guests at least once a month. So putting that out there into the world to help ourselves be accountable, but we’re going to try to have people over a little more.
Patricia: We… You know this is on both of our, our lists a lot of mine though, which is we want to level up this podcast. We got a comment on one of our older episodes on YouTube Which was the one about spell slots and the comment shook me to my core because the comment was something along the lines of I don’t know why this isn’t more popular.
And I’m like, fool, me too!
And I know some of the answer is that we need to put ourselves out there more. Like we have the content. We’re going into our second year. I think we’ve definitely proven to ourselves that we can keep this going. And now I’m actually going to have to look into marketing and figuring out the ways in which that we can get the word out there about the show.
And of course listeners can help, reviews help, sharing the show helps, listening, downloading of course helps. But also I want to level up our engagement. We have that monthly goal check in on Patreon. Also, for the people who subscribe to our Patreon, our paid subscribers and filled out, like, the form and gave us their address for, for Snail Mail, those folks got a little sneak peek of the merch that we have already made and I hope to make more this year.
And so I, I want to get that up online so that people could buy stickers and things. I also want us to add more paid content to the Patreon, and finally add that top tier. We really need to think about what that would look like, and so, hey, if anyone has any ideas of things you’d like to see from us, we are all ears.
Nicole: I also want to get more involved with said Patreon. I’m gonna join in the accountability posts. And, in my setting my goals for the year, and as I talked about trying to set them up in achievable steps, my very first step is get the login. Get the login on my own computer so I can log in and interact with y’all, because we have one account, and Patricia’s the one that’s been working on it. So…
Patricia: Yeah, so we’ll also put like, this is Nicole speaking, or this is Patricia speaking, but it’ll all be from the main account.
Nicole: Yeah, but that’s my first step. I think it’s achievable. I think it’ll feel really good to check that off.
Patricia: I think we can even do that tonight.
Nicole: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Patricia: I, I know. I know. We, I have the login.
We have the power.
Nicole: That’s, that’s a big step. It’s only the first day. I’ve got 365 days to get there.
Patricia: Last year, I was like, oh, I’m going to get back into learning piano. But that was such a nebulous goal. And I was not good at sitting down and teaching myself. This year, my goal is to find a teacher and take lessons.
And I could break that down into steps. The first of which is defining like, what exactly about piano do I want to learn? What kind of genre of music, et cetera. Then maybe making a list of, uh, potential teachers and reaching out to them, learning about cost and COVID safety and scheduling and location and things like that.
Nicole: For me, one of the big ticket items on my list is exercising more. This is partly for long term health, um, partly so I continue to abide by our wedding vows.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: One of which is doing what I can to make sure.
Patricia: That we have as much time together as possible.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: But also part of this is about releasing the stress cycle.
I know that’s going to be really, really important in the coming year.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Not just for global political nightmare that’s coming, but also, like, I got a promotion at work, and it’s, I’m mentally worn out, and I think I need something to balance that.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Last year, when, like, the first half of the year, maybe it was even the year before now, I did really well when I was on top of scheduling my week ahead. So sitting down on Sunday night, looking and saying like, okay, after work each of these days, here’s what I’m going to do. Including things like this is when I wash my hair. This is when I write some mail, this, you know, setting out what are the things I’m doing each night.
And so part of my goal for exercise and stuff is fitting that in. Like sit down, make sure I’m scheduling that as a to do item in the week. Also, gonna try a program that helps me ramp up so I’m not just like, I think I should be doing this much exercise when I am, like, getting winded by, like, the stairs right now.
So, like, maybe I try a program, like, an app or something that’s like, okay, beginner, let’s start you off with something that’s not gonna kill you because you think you can handle it.
Patricia: Absolutely. I do hope to find movement I enjoy this year. I did recently get a walking pad and walking is something I enjoy and I don’t necessarily want to walk around my, our neighborhood by myself.
So now I can go on my miserable little walks for my miserable little mental health in the comfort of our living room.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Again, I want to learn one song on the ukulele. I’ve taught myself songs on the ukulele before, so I know this is doable. I just need to figure out what song I want to learn.
Last year, I was like, I’m gonna write five pieces of mail every week, and that did not happen, and I got really overwhelmed. So, this year is just going to be a write mail weekly. Like, at least. I think this year I’m doing a lot of “at least” goals. And if I do more, that’s cool. But I’m kind of setting, like, a lower bar.
Nicole: Yeah, you had set some pretty high bars last year.
Patricia: Yeah, that’s what I do.
Nicole: Snail mail is also back on mine. I think we talked about this a little bit in the last, like, end of year goals show.
I didn’t even get anywhere close to starting my fancy snail mail project. I am putting that back on here with a minimum goal of one time per month and continually telling myself it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Patricia: Yeah.
Part of our massive decluttering will involve reading physical books so that I can pass them on.
Typically, I don’t really have a reading goal. Like, I set a number in StoryGraph, but I don’t really abide by that. Um, it’s just an easy way to track. But I do have a goal of reading 15 physical books this year. So much of my reading is on audiobook or on ebook. And so 15 physical books.
And related to that is going back to no phone after 9 pm. Uh, my sleep is better when I don’t look at my phone after 9 pm, and that is my prime reading time.
Nicole: Some of my decluttering efforts involves hanging pictures and art. I’ve had, like, a stack of art just sitting at my bedside waiting to be hung for, like, probably two years now. So, one of my goals is to get some art up,
Patricia: yeah
Nicole: start decorating some more.
Patricia: Some people pick a word or words for the year as their intention. I think of this similar to the values exercise that often happens in white collar jobs, which can be helpful depending on where you work, who the management is, the team you’re on, etc. If you’re not familiar with this exercise, the idea is that your values are consistent. It’s unlikely that someone who values honesty in their personal life is a lying liar at work.
Most importantly, your values are the things you return to when you get stuck, or there’s a decision to make, or things get complicated. This is how I think of picking like a word or intention for the year.
Nicole: We haven’t really done something like this before. This is, this is new as part of our annual goal setting. I like the idea. I have no idea what I would fill in here. So I’m gonna have to think on this.
Patricia: Yeah.
I have, you know, many individual goals. I chose three words that are linked to most of them, that they all kind of fall under.
So, one of them is connection. And that is thinking about, you know, the writing the snail mail. Also responding to personal emails faster. And having people over, seeing people. That all falls under connection.
I also have creation. That could be podcast stuff, that is also crocheting, that is also crafting, that is also cooking more.
And my last word is reclamation. Not that I don’t do cool stuff now, but I used to do some really cool stuff. And I kind of want to go back to some of that stuff I used to do. And I used to love, like archery, like making music, like singing, and it’s stuff that just kind of fell down the priority list, but it’s stuff that really brings me joy. And it is so important to lean into the things we, that bring us joy right now, because that’s what’s going to keep us going.
Nicole: Yeah, that’s something that’s been on my mind a bit too as I was setting my goals, the joy bringing.
One other thing we want to mention is, with the incoming, I have written here in the notes, political mess, which I think is putting it lightly, we want to mention that we also have goals of connecting with local community outside our, like, regular friend circles, groups.
Patricia: Absolutely.
That could mean volunteering, that could mean meetups, that could mean a number of things. And so, that’s on our list. That’s on our list.
Nicole: Yeah.
And I think, also just mentioning, this is not the exhaustive list of our goals.
Patricia: Absolutely not.
Nicole: There’s a lot on our list that we didn’t even bring up here.
Patricia: Yeah. And some of it, and some of it is, just need to cross this one thing off, right? And so, I’m gonna try to see, like, what things are just, like, a one and done. Cross them off, and maybe try to knock those out sooner than later.
Try to build some, uh,
Momentum.
Nicole: Yeah, try to build some momentum in your annual goals.
Patricia: Yeah.
Music: [Transitional Music]
Patricia: So, takeaways.
Priorities change. Your priorities change from year to year. They could change month to month or week to week. Be gentle with yourself. It is natural for things to change. It is natural for you to change as a person, and what is important to you changes. Check in on your goals on a regular basis.
Again, if you want to join us on Patreon, we do that for paid subscribers every, well, we have weekly accountability and we’ll have the bigger monthly one as well. And the cool thing is that our starting, uh, helpful helper level is three bucks a month.
Nicole: Also don’t feel silly breaking things down with multiple steps, often with like some real easy winners to start with. I think this is, as we were talk, just talking about, you know, finding ways to build momentum for yourself for some of these things. Writing out those easy first steps, just so you have something to check off is sometimes really helpful, and it’s okay to do that.
Okay, Patricia, it is the first of the year. What is filling your cup today?
Patricia: What is filling my cup is anticipation, like things to look forward to, which is very important for my well being. Specifically our crochet class. I’m looking forward to, and also we already have some friend time on the calendar within the next few days, and I’m looking forward to that.
How about you, Nicole? What are, what is filling your cup?
Nicole: I’m looking forward to that friend time as well, but a big thing for me is just these last few extra days off at the end of the year, because the holidays got like four extra days off in two weeks. Spending those with you. And the way, like, we’re there for each other, and then also as we go through our annual goal setting, like, the way we, we support each other and all that. Just knowing I’ve got a person around is really filling my cup.
Patricia: Grateful for you too.
Nicole: Thanks.
Patricia: Oh yeah, and you’re, you’re trying to get better at taking a compliment, so I’m grateful for you.
Nicole: Thank you. I didn’t put that in the show notes. I didn’t even write that in my annual goals. I just said it aloud the other day.
Patricia: And I remember everything.
Nicole: Yeah, you do.
Patricia: Well, that’s our show for today. We’d like to thank our awesome audio editor, Jen Zink. You can find her at loopdilou.com, we’ll leave a link to that in our show notes.
Nicole: You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com, that’s E E D A P O D dot com.
There you can also find a link to our Patreon, our bookshop link, and a link to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletter. You can also find us on Instagram and Bluesky at eedapod, and email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia: We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole: We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever else you get your podcasts that allow ratings. If it is somewhere else, please tell us. It really goes far in helping other people find us.
Patricia: We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon. Support is going to help us keep this show going, especially without ads. You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope you find ways to be kind to yourself. Drink some water and read a book. We’ll be talking to you soon.
I have to get you that Patreon login.
Nicole: You do have to get me that Patreon login.