Show Notes
In this episode of “Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice,” Patricia and Nicole discuss the recent (and ongoing) Southern California wildfires and emphasize the importance of community-driven support in times of crisis. They also talk about the significance of taking small, sometimes imperfect actions to contribute positively to societal issues. The episode concludes with encouragement to the listeners to practice self-care and support the show through Patreon and other platforms.
Mentioned on the show (includes affiliate links):
- Bookshop Affiliate Storefront (links below are affiliate)
- Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
- Subscribe to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Newsletter
- EEDA Newsletter Vol 6, Res 2: Trans People & Sports, LA Fires, & a New Project Announcement
- EEDA Pod: There’s No Such Things as 5-Star Cereal
- Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World Without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
Follow the show on Instagram & find us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, & Spotify
Sound editing by Jen Zink
Transcript
Music: [Intro Music]
Patricia: Hey there, Earthlings! Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice, the podcast for folks who would rather curl into the fetal position than lean in. I’m your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole: And I might just be a hundred crows in a cute outfit, I’m Nicole Elzie-Tuttle. We are recording this show on January 17th, 2025.
Patricia: Note the date. We are recording this before Inauguration Day, but this show actually comes out after Inauguration Day. So, when we are recording this, we actually don’t know what Monday’s gonna look like.
Nicole: So, if something happened, we don’t know about it yet.
Patricia: So, we’re recording from the past.
Nicole: Hello!
Patricia: I mean, we wouldn’t record from the future, so.
Nicole: Yeah, that’s one of those situations, like, uh, every picture is a picture of you in the past.
Patricia: That’s fair.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: That’s legit.
If you are a listener, a loved one, in Southern California, we hope that you are safe and have a safe place to be. Nicole and I used to live in Pasadena.
Nicole: Which is, for those who aren’t familiar with Los Angeles geography, It abuts, it’s right up next to Altadena.
Patricia: Which has had a lot of damage from the Eaton Canyon fire.
Nicole: Yes.
Patricia: And we actually, we met in Pasadena and that was where our first number of years was together.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: And we, personally, we have friends and family who have been affected. Everyone is safe, but yeah, we have loved ones who have been affected.
Nicole: Yeah.
Yeah, not to mention just the loss of that town and memories and history and…
Patricia: It’s personal importance to your family, yeah.
Nicole: Yeah.
Yeah.
Patricia: And also, you know, California is a very big state with many, many people, and yet, between the Bay Area and LA, sometimes it could feel very small town-y. You know, a lot of people I know up here also know people in LA.
People often have people in, in both places.
Nicole: Yeah. And, like, where we live, we are not affected or not even impacted by the smoke right now, as far as I’m aware.
Patricia: Correct.
Nicole: We are several hundred miles away.
Patricia: One of the things I’m noticing in this catastrophe is how much faster community is moving than the government in getting people what they need and in helping each other out.
And in my newsletter at theinfophile.com, the most recent issue, I did a roundup of kind of as many of the roundups of I could find of fundraisers, GoFundMes. I mostly share things not for people who are there and affected, although there’s a couple of resources there, but for folks who are anywhere else and how we can help.
Nicole: That’s very helpful.
Patricia: I tried to put it all in one place for people to also share. So even if you can’t give right now, like the people have given a lot of physical donations. Some haven’t been great. What I’m hearing is that cash is really needed. So, you know, you can find ways to donate cash if you have it, or of course you can share that newsletter issue to maybe folks who might have the ability to make some donations.
Nicole: But yeah, that’s, I think, a really important thing. Like, yes, the government will likely be helpful in the long run, but for meeting immediate needs, the bureaucracy just slows things down and people need help now.
Patricia: Yeah.
Not after paperwork.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: [Chuckle]
We did something unrelated. We, the most recent weird thing we did
Nicole: [Laughing]
Patricia: was, I was, I was influenced by the internet and I learned about a French vintage market
Nicole: [Snort]
Patricia: up in what we refer to as the North Bay, I think.
Nicole: I think calling it a French vintage market is overstating things a little bit.
Patricia: Yeah, but they were, they were trying.
Nicole: They were trying.
Patricia: We had crepes that were mid.
Nicole: Yeah, there was a truck there selling crepes. Or not even a truck, it was a tent.
Patricia: It was a tent.
Nicole: It was a tent.
Patricia: It was a tent selling crepes.
There was a trio, a vocalist, a keyboard player, and someone playing the upright bass.
And they were singing French adjacent songs.
Nicole: I think they were trying to sing European songs. I’m pretty sure I heard an Italian song in there.
Patricia: [Chuckle]
There was also some bossa nova, though.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Yeah. But they were all, they were in, like, red pants and striped shirts and berets.
Nicole: They were just missing, like, a little drawn on skinny mustache.
Patricia: Yeah, there was, we did see a woman smoking a cigarette looking at vintage furs, and that was probably the most French part about it, and I think it was unintentional, but.
Nicole: Yeah, no, it was great though
Otherwise, it was kind of just like a standard
Patricia: antique market
Nicole: antique market flea market situation.
Patricia: Yeah, I got a book. I got a book about beans.
Nicole: You got a bean book.
Patricia: I got a bean book.
Nicole: Hey!
From the, the California Bean Growers Association or something?
Patricia: Something like that, yeah.
Nicole: [laughing]
Patricia: Yeah, it’s from like the 90s, but apparently there was a first, volume one from the 80s, so now we have something to look for as we go to antique stores and used bookstores.
We have to find the first bean book.
Nicole: The first California Bean association.
Patricia: [Laughing]
Nicole: Reminder, we have a Patreon. I’m told you all know what that is at this time. So please go visit it patreon.com/eedapod.
Patricia: Yep. And we also have a bookshop storefront where you can buy any of the books we mentioned on the show and some I mentioned in the newsletter and things like that.
And we get a kickback because it’s our affiliate shop. So that is another way to support us aside from listening and sharing.
Nicole: Oh, and I am trying to participate more in the Patreon now.
Patricia: That’s true! You are now showing up in our weekly accountability posts.
Nicole: Yes!
And if I remember and I’m not too tired during the rest of the week, I will also try to come back and comment and talk with other people and stuff like that, too.
Patricia: Look at you, working on your, working on your goals.
Nicole: Ahh.
Patricia: [Snicker]
Music: [Transition Music]
Patricia: So, I’ve been thinking about an Instagram post I saw the other day from a person who goes by sharonsaysso that says, quote, In moments like this, do for one person what you wish you could do for everyone.
Nicole: Yeah, this is a lot like that parable where there’s a beach full of washed up sea stars, like, in the sand, and someone’s throwing one or two back in, or throwing some back in, and someone’s like, you can never help them all.
But the person is like, yeah, but, I made a difference for that one that I just threw back.
Patricia: Yeah, I’ve had a lot of conversations like that, especially around DEI efforts.
Nicole: Oof.
Patricia: I’ve had people tell me they wish there was just one big thing that could be done in one fell swoop that could affect everyone. And I’ve had multiple people show despair, feeling like they, as an individual, couldn’t do anything that really makes a difference, or moves the needle, or however you want to put it.
Nicole: Sorry, this isn’t in the thing, but I was just thinking, like, that’s so, the like, I just wish I could do one thing, that’s so not community minded.
Patricia: Can we just flip a switch and turn off racism?
Nicole: [exhale]
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Not have to like actually interact with anyone in the long term
Patricia: nah
Nicole: or make any significant changes in your life
Patricia: no
Nicole: or behavior or society or anything.
Patricia: Just press that abolition button and uh, there you go.
Nicole: Ah.
[laugh]
Patricia: [Chuckle]
Nicole: Whatever the terror de jour is, whether that’s climate catastrophe, transphobia, racism, the prison industrial complex, the unholy Voltron of all these things together.
Patricia: Oh my god.
Nicole: It’s important to remember that, like, one single action by one single person is not what got us into this mess.
And so, we can’t one person, one switch, fix it either.
Patricia: I mean, if it was one person, it’s probably Ronald Reagan, but
Nicole: Oh, damn. Yeah, that’s true. We can pin a lot on that one.
Patricia: That’s true.
We can find ourselves frozen, because we want to pick that one right thing to do, but since we can’t, we end up doing nothing.
We just mindlessly scroll the internet, take in the trauma, and do nothing to address that trauma for ourselves or each other, because we’ve convinced ourselves that whatever we need to do needs to be perfect.
Nicole: Perfection holds us back once again.
There is no perfect action in any of this. And this is something we talk about in one of our early episodes called, There’s No Such Thing as Five Star Cereal.
So if you want to hear kind of more about this perfectionism issue.
Patricia: This trap of perfection.
Nicole: This trap of perfectionism. That’s a really good way of putting it.
The importance is not that you do the one perfect thing, just do something. Some thing. Cause you know what’s definitely, like, not a perfect thing?
Nothing. Doing nothing is, like, the exact opposite.
Patricia: It’s kind of like that saying, like, you can’t win if you’re not even playing. And, and people think, like, well, I can’t donate ten thousand dollars to this GoFundMe, so I won’t donate anything. But if you have five bucks that you can donate, then do that. And if you don’t have the cash, and even if you do, you can share the link out with people and maybe they can pitch in or they can share it. And as someone who works in fundraising in her day job, like, yeah, maybe at bigger organizations, it’s harder to make a difference with those five dollar donations and the overhead and what have you. But People’s GoFundMe or someone asking for money that matters.
Nicole: This is a really important point. I’m going to harp on it a little bit. This is the power of people in large numbers. Like, most of us are not going to be able to give a million dollars. But if 200,000 people each give five dollars, there’s a million dollars. When we each pitch in a little bit, we can still achieve big change and make major differences in people’s lives.
You don’t have to be the one that gives everything. We each need to just give a little of whatever we can. And this is not just money, this is time, energy, our voices.
Patricia: And don’t get it twisted. There are billionaires out there right now that could give hundreds of millions without breaking a sweat, and they aren’t.
We don’t have necessarily millions of dollars on our side, but we do have millions of people who can do something. And like Nicole said, not just money.
Nicole: Yeah, it’s, it’s not just about donating money. You can’t change the minds of thousands of people, necessarily, but you can have a hard conversation with a family member, or a friend, or a coworker, and that can make a difference down the line.
Patricia: Ugh, yeah, that could be a whole other episode. Like, it’s so much easier to passively give five dollars than to have that hard conversation.
Nicole: Oh yeah.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: And so kind of circling back to this, like, don’t wait to try to do the perfect thing. You’re going to get it wrong. When you do something instead of nothing, you’re going to get it wrong at some point.
And what that’s whatever it is you do. Maybe you share the wrong thing online. Maybe you had the right intent about a conversation, but the impact is not what you hoped for. Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia: Louder for the people in the back.
Nicole: Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia: You know what’s usually worse than getting things wrong?
Is not even trying. And also, not learning from how you maybe got it wrong, and then learning how to do it better next time. This is my first time being human. Of course I’m going to get things wrong.
Nicole: Wait, wait, this is your first time?
Patricia: Yeah, it was a punishment.
Nicole: I say that like I’m surprised, but I’m pretty sure this is my first time too.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: This is how we learn. This is how we get better at doing things. So this is kind of the other half, the really important other half, is like, acknowledging when you get something wrong, learn, do better from it.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: But, I think about like, even when we were in grade school, learning addition. You didn’t get the lesson and then just get it perfectly.
Patricia: I mean, I did.
[Laughing]
Nicole: Like, okay, sometimes, those like seven and eights multiplications are really hard.
Patricia: That’s, that’s legit. That’s legit.
Nicole: But like, we had to get it wrong and we had to work through it to be better and get to a point where we do things correctly more often.
Patricia: Yeah, I think caring is a practice. It’s a practice, and, and carrying through action is a practice too, and it’s something that you get better at the more you do it.
I know you’re all tired of hearing it, but a really great resource on figuring out what small things to do is the book Microactivism by Omkari L. Williams.
I also frequently share resources of action items that people can do for a number of things in the Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletter.
These things are always in the issues without paywall. They are always free 99.
Nicole: Sharing them is also free 98.
Patricia: Wait, 98? You don’t have to pay one cent to share them?
Nicole: No, usually if it ends in 98 that means it’s like discounted or on a sale.
Patricia: Oh. Mmm.
I’ll take two.
As you’re doing things, it’s important to continue to take care of yourself as you care for others.
Sometimes this means stepping back, but there is a difference between disengaging for a while and straight up avoidance of doing anything.
Nicole: Oh man, that could also be a whole other episode.
Patricia: [Chuckling]
Nicole: But before we get there, maybe, maybe I have more work to do in that area before we record it.
Music: [Transition Music]
Patricia: Let’s talk about our takeaways.
I think the main thing I want you to take away from this is that we can’t all do everything, uh, no matter how hard we try and no matter if you are like me and that’s your personality. We can’t all do everything, but we can all do something.
Nicole: And everyone doing A little something is how we can all get things done without burning out completely.
Patricia: Yeah. Yeah, that is so deeply important.
Nicole: Yeah, like, I’m thinking about this also in like, time dedicated to something. If I give all my time, I’m gonna burn the heck out, but like
Patricia: absolutely
Nicole: if we all pitch in a little bit of time, then we can still get things done.
Patricia: We have, uh, a little bit of extra time here.
Nicole: We do.
Patricia: I’m not necessarily going to share a resource, but I will share a little bit of a book I just finished reading.
Nicole: Ooh!
Patricia: It’s titled, What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, and Other Indignities. by Heather Corinna. And they are the founder of Scarleteen, who I’ve recommended that resource a lot before in my newsletter. And it is a book about perimenopause and menopause that they really try to make it as non gendered as, as possible.
And so it is more accessible to more people because not only cis women go through menopause and perimenopause. So it sounds terrifying, but I am of that age. So I was like, you know what? I need to not be afraid of information, especially as someone who goes around calling myself The Infophile. Like, I need to be not afraid of information, so.
Nicole: Yeah, I think that’s going to show up on my reading list pretty soon.
Patricia: Probably.
Nicole: So I can understand what’s going on and what I have to look forward to.
Patricia: That too.
Nicole: [Giggling]
Oh, joy.
Well, this has been Patricia’s Book Corner.
Patricia: Yeah, sure.
Well, do you have a book to share or no?
Nicole: I don’t remember what I’ve been reading lately.
Patricia: That’s legit.
Nicole: When you put me on the spot,
Patricia: yep
Nicole: I completely blank out. Even though I’ve completed, I’ve read probably four or five books already this year.
Patricia: You can’t name one of them.
Nicole: My brain’s like, you have not read a single book this year. I don’t know any books. We don’t read books.
Patricia: [Laughing]
Nicole: Welcome to, uh, what it’s like to have ADHD sometimes.
Patricia: Nicole’s ADHD corner.
Nicole: It’s great. We lay on the floor, we make up songs,
Patricia: [Laughing]
Nicole: we eat crunchy foods.
Patricia: You certainly do.
You certainly do.
Nicole: Patricia.
Patricia: Yes, Nicole.
Nicole: It is three days before the inauguration.
Patricia: Sure.
Nicole: What has been filling your cup lately?
Patricia: We are planning a trip. It will be our first time on a plane since 2019.
So I have anxiety around that, but it is also a trip to a place that I love, that I haven’t been to in decades, and to do things that I love doing. And I’m being vague on purpose, and it’s the only thing keeping me going right now, and I hope it, I hope it pans out. I hope things don’t go so sideways that we can’t do it.
Nicole: I look forward to continued planning with you, and finding weird little places to visit, and eat at, and everything.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole, what’s filling your cup?
Nicole: Um, friends! We saw friends at both the ze French market.
Patricia: Oh no! [Giggling]
Nicole: Um, but also we, there was a, a recent bookstore and chocolate crawl in the East Bay. It was, it was both sides, but we went to the East Bay side of it and saw some more friends.
Patricia: Yeah!
Nicole: So it was a very friend filled weekend and that, that was really, that was really good for me. I have a feeling this year is really going to help me learn about the importance of friends and community beyond what I already know.
Patricia: Yeah.
Well, that’s our show for today. We’d like to thank our awesome audio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com and we’ll leave a link to that in our show notes.
Nicole: You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com, that’s E E D A P O D dot com. There, you can also find a link to our Patreon, our bookshop link, and a link to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagram and bluesky at eedapod and email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia: We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole: We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts that allow ratings. It really does go far in helping other people find us.
Patricia: We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon. Support there is going to help us keep this show going, especially without ads. You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope you find ways to be kind to yourself, drink some water, and read a book. We’ll be talking to you soon.
We’re a little fried.
Nicole: We’re a little fried.
Patricia: We’re a little fried.
Nicole: I think a little is also understating it.
Patricia: I think a little is also understating it.
Nicole: I feel like I’ve spent the week in the air fryer. [Sound of Patricia being squicked out]