Show Notes
This episode of “Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice” covers Nicole and Patricia’s recent activities, including a trip to Santa Rosa, obtaining library cards, and trying new hobbies like crochet and Pilates. They introduce and explain the communication tool “some/many/most,” which helps avoid sweeping generalizations in conversations. The hosts also discuss their current reads and emphasize the importance of taking breaks and showing kindness to oneself.
Mentioned on the show:
- Bookshop Affiliate Storefront (links below are affiliate)
- Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
- Subscribe to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Newsletter
- EEDA Pod: Why and How To Ask For What You Want
- EEDA Newsletter Vol 6, Res 16: What is Needed to Help People Leave Substack
- EEDA Newsletter Vol 6, Res 21: Postage Stamps, Revolutionary Actions, & Help for Sore Feet
- EEDA Newsletter Vol 5, Iss 19: My Most-Used Communication Technique
- Human Rites by Juno Dawson
- The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer, illustrated by John Burgoyne
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
Follow the show on Instagram & find us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, & Spotify
Sound editing by Jen Zink
Transcript
Music: [Intro Music]
Patricia: Hey there, Wuzzles! Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice, the podcast for folks who would rather curl into the fetal position than lean in. I’m your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole: And I just wanna lay in the afternoon sun on the couch and read my silly little books. I’m Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We’re recording this show on July 17th, 2025.
Patricia: Isn’t today the 18th,
Nicole: Is it?
Patricia: I don’t know. I don’t even know what day it is.
Nicole: No, it’s the 17th.
Patricia: I don’t even know what day it is everyone.
Nicole: It’s Thursday.
Patricia: Sure. Okay.
Nicole: July 17th.
Patricia: Okay, great. I don’t know, this perimenopause brain has me not very smart sometimes.
Nicole: At least you’ve got an excuse.
Patricia: Well, what have we done since we last recorded? We got away, not far away we were still in the Bay Area, during July 4th weekend. But our neighborhood is very loud and so we went up to Santa Rosa. We got library cards.
Nicole: We did, we got new library cards. I think mine had… I guess their library has a mascot, it’s a little otter. I don’t remember his name.
Patricia: I think his name’s Otto.
Nicole: Otto the Otter. That’s right.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: My library card has Otto the Otter on it.
Patricia: And my library card has some of the Peanuts gang on it because Charles Shulz was from Santa Rosa, and that’s where the Peanuts Museum is. And they would have like big figures of Peanuts characters.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Um, around, around the town.
Nicole: Was it just a big Charlie Brown outside the museum?
Patricia: That was outside the library. We didn’t go to the museum.
Nicole: That’s what I meant, the library.
Patricia: But then we went to that like taco truck park and there was a Snoopy in a mariachi.
Nicole: Oh yeah. There was mariachi Snoopy.
Patricia: Yeah. It was great. I love it.
Nicole: And really great tacos!
Patricia: And really great tacos.
Shout out to Treehorn Books in downtown Santa Rosa. Amazing used bookstore.
Nicole: Oh yeah, I could have spent so much more time in there.
Patricia: I could have spent all day in there. I could spend multiple days in there. They had everything.
Nicole: And the really cool thing they had there was lots of like complete sets
Patricia: mm-hmm
Nicole: of vintage books.
Patricia: Mm-hmm.
Nicole: And it wasn’t just like, you know, a bunch of old Encyclopedia Britannica or something. It was actual like vintage sets and it was really just shelves of them.
Patricia: Yeah, I loved it. I definitely wanna go back.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: And then also, while we were out of town, I took a little time to finally sit and start on one of those Woobles in teaching myself how to crochet. I have, I think I have the head done and part of the body, so I’m working on a little dinosaur.
Nicole: Yeah, you have Fred the dinosaur.
Patricia: Fred, the dinosaur. But it’s going pretty well. I think actually taking those classes in person helped give me some framework so that when I do the Woobles it was a bit easier than if I started from nothing.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: However, if you’re interested, they are not sponsoring us. I’ll, however, Woobles, if you want to send me Woobles, I will absolutely take them. But they have, they have step-by-step videos that are really clear instructions.
And you know what, I think it’s, I think it’s great for learning.
Nicole: I did not do Woobles. I have not been doing them. I just hung out and read.
Patricia: Yep.
Nicole: And it was delightful, especially in an air conditioned hotel room.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Oh. We don’t have air conditioning at home, so we definitely spent a day just laying around in the air conditioning. It was great.
Ooh, we took our first Pilates class. Is that where I’m supposed to go next?
Patricia: Yes.
Nicole: We took the machine Pilates.
Patricia: Yeah, the reformer.
Nicole: Okay.
Patricia: Which, the, the instructor was lovely. And so she gave us a little bit of background and she’s like, yeah, the Pilates guy was German. And she like, points at the machine. And I’m like, yeah, it looks German.
Nicole: We, we worked out on the torture bed machines.
Patricia: Yeah. But the instructor is a former ballet dancer. She’s incredibly kind, incredibly patient with us. Surprisingly. I did not hate it.
Nicole: I didn’t hate it. I thought it was all right.
Patricia: Yeah, and I think, you know, most exercise I feel like afterward it’s like too strenuous of a workout and I don’t feel, like I feel nauseous or something like that. And this, well, it was definitely a workout and I’m definitely still sore days afterward. It was a lot more gentle.
Nicole: The gentleness I think was really important. I’ve definitely got some sore points still, but it’s, none of it is like unbearable or anything.
It’s totally bearable.
Patricia: Right. The other thing I wanna share is actually it goes, oh gosh, I can’t remember what episode we were talking about, but we kind of have talked about a number of times in the past about, you know, you don’t know if you don’t ask. And recently someone who is a cookbook author and makes pasta online and I follow, and I have her book and she has a substack and she posted a recipe on Instagram and I, and she was like, this is gonna be out in this week’s substack.
And I was like, you know what? I commented because I do not give money to Substack, I will not support the not-see machine. And that vehicle that is documented as shoveling money to the far right. So I commented, I was like, hey, is there some way I can pay you? ’cause I still want to give her money for her work.
I want to pay you for this recipe, but I don’t wanna pay you through Substack. And we chatted a little bit in the comments and she’s like, you know what? Why don’t you DM me? And she responded to me. She’s like, hey, thank you so much. Sure we can work out getting me the recipe. She’s like, will, you tell me like what’s your reasoning behind why you don’t wanna give money to Substack?
And I was like, thank you for asking. I actually have an issue of my newsletter on a different platform that in one of the free issues. On some citations and reasons why I don’t support Substack, but I also understand the growth potential there. And I don’t necessarily fault creators for still being there, and especially if they get a lot of their money from their newsletter, which I do not.
But she was open to having a conversation. And she was like, thank you. This is a lot of what I’m hearing. Some of her colleagues are also moving to other platforms and I was just reminded a couple of things. Like one ask. Ask, you don’t know if someone’s gonna meet you halfway. And two, just the importance of having those one-on-one conversations.
You know, we can post so many things online and just post into the void and resharing a post is not actually activism. It’s not actually going to affect real change. We actually need to talk to people. There was an article I read and I also shared in a recent newsletter that I could share in the show notes about like posting about a fire is not the same as throwing a bucket of water on the fire, and so.
Yeah. It just really reminded me, huh. Conversations with people and not being a jerk about it, not being super prescriptive about it, but it was, uh, it was surprisingly pleasant.
Nicole: Yeah. You were, when you, when you came to tell me this earlier today, you were, you seemed pleasantly excited about it.
Patricia: Yeah, I, you know, you never know how people are going to receive things and you can’t guarantee people are gonna receive things well if they’re gonna be super defensive.
But she was curious, and I was kind and,
Nicole: and all it took was you asking.
Patricia: And all it took was me asking. Yeah.
Nicole: Yeah.
And being open to the conversation.
Patricia: Yeah. Well, and also being open to like asking in the comments and her saying no, like, right. Like she could have just said no, and that would’ve been fine too.
Like I would’ve just had to….
Nicole: Perfectly acceptable answer.
Patricia: Yeah. So I just wanted to share that like in this space.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: Um, ’cause it feels connected to a lot of what we’ve talked about before.
Nicole: If you’re interested in why we don’t like to give money to Substack. There will be a link to that free issue of the newsletter in the show notes.
Patricia: Absolutely
Reminder, this podcast is independently run, downloading it, sharing it, giving us those reviews and ratings are free ways to show us support.
Nicole: If you have a few bucks, a few dollaroos to donate, our Patreon memberships start at $3 a month. And even if you don’t wanna engage with the content there, it’s a way to donate to the show and show support that way.
There’s no pressure with that though. But if you are interested in joining our Patreon, there are three tiers to choose from, and we have updated the top tier for our Dubious Advisors level.
Patricia: Yes, so it’s still going to be snail mail. It is at a lower price now, and the lower price point means maybe it is not full zine, but it is still going to be snail mail. And it is also, because it’s not going to be such a massive lift every month, we are able to open more slots, although slots are still limited for this level. If you go to patreon.com/eedapod you can find the public post about it there and you can find all the information there.
Nicole: And then, uh, if you are looking for other ways where you can also help support us, any books that we mention on the show are on a bookshelf on bookshop.org, and there is a link to that on our webpage and in the show notes.
Patricia: Yes, actually.
Ooh, look at me. I got it. Right.
Music: [Transition Music]
Patricia: So this week I really want to talk about this other tool in our communication toolbox that we use all the time that I both learned and taught during my time as a sex educator. And basically, as I’ve mentioned before, communication coach, right? This kind of communication tool is very non creatively named Some / Many / Most.
Nicole: We actually use some / many / most on the show a lot, and once you learn about it, you’ll probably notice it from us all the time. We actually use it so much we forgot we didn’t tell you all about it. We went back to look for an episode previously
Patricia: yeah.
Nicole: cause we like wanted to reference it and we’re like, oh, if we reference it, we should talk about what show we talked about it on.
We couldn’t find it.
Patricia: Yeah. And this is, by the way, this is our 45th episode and I am shocked we have not told you about this.
Nicole: The thing about some / many / most is that we typically use it when we don’t have data around certain things, and we really don’t wanna make up numbers. Please don’t make up numbers.
Some / many / most is a great way to get a point across without spreading misinformation.
Patricia: And I know you’re all listening to that this right now. So it’s actually three words, some / many / most, I know we say them all together, but it’s three words. So some usually signifies there are people who do this thing or people who are like this or like this thing, et cetera. But it’s not a huge amount compared to the whole.
Many implies there’s a significant amount of people who are like this or do this thing or whatever.
I employ most when I mean anything more than half of the whole group.
Nicole: So remember the key for this is we use this when we do not have exact numbers. So we’re kind of being deliberate here in not attributing percentages or quantities to these terms.
And the other thing that this really helps us with is avoiding using all or nothing language and making broad, sweeping, like,
Patricia: generalizations about people.
Nicole: Generalizations, claims.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Oftentimes this is used when we’re talking about, like, groups of people. What we’re trying to do is avoid saying things like, “everyone loves ice cream.” Which like, yes, if you’re, like, in our home, everyone in our home does like ice cream. But if we’re talking about large scale groups of people, broad population, it would probably be more realistic to say, “most people love ice cream.” Because realistically there are people out there who do not love ice cream.
Patricia: I was going to say, I don’t know them, but you know what I think I might.
Nicole: You might.
Patricia: Yeah, I might.
Nicole: We might know.
Patricia: I might know.
Nicole: We might know some people…
Patricia: We might know some people
Nicole: who do not love ice cream.
Patricia: who do not like ice cream.
You know, and I don’t have this in our script, but I find this comes up a lot as an example, and I will use like my own ethnicities, an example. As in all Black people know how to dance, which is not true. Or all Filipinos are good singers, which is not true. And I know some people in my communities, when people make these sweeping statements, there are folks who are embarrassed to say like, Hey, I didn’t get that gene or, or what have you. And so really this is one of those times where we’re able to employ this, this some / many / most.
I was looking back at one of the Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletters where I wrote about some / many / most, and I used an example about voter registration in California. There is no way I can remember the exact numbers I looked up like last September or whenever that was, but I can confidently say most eligible voters in California are registered to vote.
Nicole: That’s a clear statement, but it doesn’t make me wanna go like, what’s your source on that?
Patricia: Yeah. Cite your sources. Which I could, I could still cite my sources.
Nicole: Right. But
Patricia: yeah.
Nicole: But you also don’t have to memorize a number now.
Patricia: Absolutely.
Nicole: Which is really helpful for someone like me who will quickly forget it.
Patricia: That too.
Nicole: Some / many / most is also really helpful when talking to children. Especially about different types of families or communities that are out there. So you can say things like, most children have two parents. Some children with two parents have two moms or two dads.
Patricia: Yeah, I think it’s also helpful in talking to other adults of course. Many people don’t drink alcohol, some people are sober. Or some people are transgender, many people are queer.
Nicole: Could say, most people like cheese.
Patricia: Some people are lactose intolerant.
Nicole: Yeah. I don’t know if the most is correct in that circumstance though, depending on how broad we’re talking.
Patricia: That’s true. Yeah. But at the same time, I’m like, some of us who are lactose intolerant still love cheese.
Nicole: That’s why we have a big box of Lactaid,
Patricia: Costco size, Lactaid, Kirkland brand coming through.
Some / many / most helps people avoid making sweeping statements about entire groups of people and therefore helps people avoid sounding like a douche bag.
Some / many / most allows us to make statements that are descriptive and like we mentioned, avoid using words like all or every, or everyone. So we could say many women want children and many women are happy being child free. Some women don’t care either way.
Nicole: I can also say something like many people with ADHD deal with some level of executive dysfunction.
Patricia: This one was a lot for me to kind of comprehend. Many queer people like musical theater, but some queer people find it annoying.
Nicole: This one, this one’s a special one for some of my book friends out there. Many people have read the Locked Tomb books and most of those who have cannot wait for the final book to be released.
Patricia: And here’s another, here’s another hard truth is most librarians are book lovers, but some librarians actually dislike reading.
Nicole: It took me a minute to wrap my head around that one.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: But I realized there are, there are libraries that aren’t books.
Patricia: I mean, and there are librarians who work in libraries that are books that still aren’t readers.
Nicole: Yeah. I like to think though, they should be not in the book section. They can be in like the music section, the movie section. I don’t know. Some of our libraries have video game sections.
Patricia: Oh my gosh.
Nicole: I, you know what? It’s a shame this is a, a audio format because I think it would be helpful for there to be like a visual for our listeners, like to help them understand this concept of some / many / most.
Patricia: Oh, but there is, I actually made a visual for the Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletter issue about some / many / most that was shared last September. And of course it is an image. Uh, I will have, you know, alt text for that, for folks who use that. I will share a link to that issue in the show notes, but I will also share the image for our Patreon subscribers with a bit of detail about how we differentiate between some / many / most, especially if we aren’t putting an exact number or percentage to it.
Nicole: Like me, some of our listeners will find this visual helpful.
Patricia: Yeah. I think now that we’ve told everyone about it, they’re going to hear about it all the time.
Nicole: Yeah, pay attention to our shows. You’ll probably catch on.
Patricia: For those of you who drink, it could be a deadly drinking game.
Nicole: Oh, no. Oh, I was just trying to think how much that would stand up to the Labyrinth drinking game.
Patricia: Oh goodness. Maybe you don’t do that.
Nicole: Don’t do that either though. That’s also a bad idea.
Music: [Transition Music]
Nicole: Okay. Patricia, what would you like our listeners to take away from this?
Patricia: Well, like any communication skill, it takes practice, but once you start implementing it, you’ll both notice how useful it is and also you’ll start noticing how often people make sweeping generalizations with terms like “every” or “all.”
Nicole, what do you want people to take away?
Nicole: Some / many / most is actually really helpful, especially if you’re like me and often forget the exact numbers for things. It doesn’t just have to be like a preventative, like make sure you’re not making up numbers and stuff. It can also just be helpful in conversation if you’re not good at remembering
Patricia: yeah
Nicole: numbers and groupings and stuff. I often remember like the gist, the idea, I know it was not a large amount, so I’ll say some.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: Or many.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: And just roll with that.
Patricia: So we do have a little extra time.
Nicole: Ooh.
Patricia: So let’s check in about our reading. What are you reading? Or have you read anything good lately?
Nicole: Well, I think in the last episode maybe, or maybe I didn’t mention this, I’ve been rereading through the Her Majesty’s Royal Coven series. Because Book three came out and I have finally started book three and I’m really enjoying it and I really wanna see where it goes. And I’m also probably gonna be really sad when it ends, because then I don’t have any more stories with those friends.
Patricia: Yeah.
Nicole: What about you, Patricia? What are you reading?
Patricia: I am also reading that third HMRC, titled Human Rights, by Juno Dawson. And I am about 10 chapters behind, like nine or 10 chapters behind you.
Nicole: Yes.
Patricia: And I also did a reread of The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer.
The audiobook is like under two hours. It’s a very short read. I feel like that’s one I just need to keep at the forefront of my mind. It might be an annual reread. Honestly, it might be a every six month reread. It is such a important book about how, as she says, reciprocity and abundance, but also like sharing is necessary for survival.
Nicole: Yeah, I really liked that one. I should probably give it a re-listen.
Well, Patricia, what has been filling your cup lately?
Patricia: Honestly, I am loving the crochet. I love doing something with my hands, and I’m at the point where it just gives me the text of the pattern so I don’t have to watch a video the whole time. So I’m able to just do this thing and not stare at a screen. And not staring at a screen is helping keep me sane right now.
Nicole: Yeah, that makes sense.
Patricia: Nicole, what’s filling your cup?
Nicole: Honestly, getting away for the holiday was super important and really kind of, I don’t think it fully filled me up, but it definitely like topped me up a little bit.
Patricia: Yeah, it gave me a little reset.
Nicole: A little, a little boost.
Patricia: Well, that’s our show for today. We’d like to thank our awesome audio editor, Jen Zinc. You can find her at loopdilou.com. We’ll leave a link to that in our show notes.
Nicole: You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com. That’s E E D A P O D dot com.
There you can also find a link to our patreon, our bookshop link, and the link to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice newsletter. You can also find us on Instagram and Bluesky at eedapod and email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia: We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole: We would also really appreciate it if you would subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts that allow for ratings.
It really goes far in helping other people find us. And we haven’t had a, a new review in a while that we’ve seen. So this is just your reminder if, if you do review us, we’ll give you a shout out on the show.
Patricia: Absolutely.
We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon. Support is going to help us keep the show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eadapod. And also if you happen to be listening to the end of this show, I forgot to mention up top that I have designed another piece of merch and I am working on getting a little, a little eedapod shop going. So that is also going to be announced first on our Instagram and our Patreon, and then whenever it is up the next podcast episode, I’m sure we will announce it.
Nicole: Yeah.
Patricia: In the meantime, we hope you find ways to be kind to yourself, drink some water and read a book. We’ll be talking to you soon.
Nicole: I thought of one more. Some people call cuisine that comes from China, Chinese food, but most people who actually eat that cuisine just call it food.
Patricia: Actually, I think most people call it shíwù, which I think is Mandarin for food.
Nicole: You know what, that makes sense.
Patricia: But also, I’m barely through my Pinyin lessons on the Duolingo app, so I’m sure my pronunciation was terrible.
Nicole: Yeah, that’s okay.
Patricia: Hashtag I tried.
Nicole: Hashtag you tried!